I'm aware that there are many things going on around me that require more comment than this, but I have chosen to honour the Tinkie with my inaugural post.Or rather, how absolutely crud Tinkies have become since their glory days in during my youth.
Tinkies (or Twinkies, I believe, to the more Westerly-located) are rectangular-prismatic sponge cakes infused with cream. Or they were... now they're sea-sponge textured cakes shot up with a miniscule amount of cream which results in a millimetre thick layer of cream occupying about 50 - 60% of the length of the bar.
The Tinkie brand, I swear, is surviving on the misplaced memories of my generation. Tinkies were creamy goodness in a box. Nowadays they're a disappointing reminder of what life was like before cost-cutting measures and the customer-is-an-idiot-they'll-never-notice mentality. I mean, look at the cream part in the Tinkie image above... it's fake! They can't even make a perfect Tinkie for the box! If the cream in the image is a full moon, the actual cream present in todays Tinkie is a God's-thumbnail sliver of lunule on the first day of the moon month.
Which reminds me of a Bar One rant I once had, in which I suggested that the next time Nestle are about to embark on cost-cutting measures they consider reducing the amount of wrapper in order to more conform with the volume of chocolate inside the wrapper. That way they can save on wrapper costs as they have already saved on chocolate. 14cm of (volumetrically correct) wrapper for a 10cm chocolate bar! Are you kidding me?! Asses.
Maske out.
